so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
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It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
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I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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