i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
ttyl tear gas
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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