How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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