Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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