Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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