Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize