bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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