i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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