im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I party with great urgency now.
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