tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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