I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize