he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He felt like a one man threesome
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
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he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
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So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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