it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize