dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize