Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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