i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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