Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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