There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize