The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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