another moral hangover. fuck.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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