I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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