Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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