I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize