: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize