I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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