If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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