I murdered the dance floor call the cops
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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