Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize