Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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