I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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