there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize