I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
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I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
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I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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