Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize