Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
