I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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