Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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