Come see our sink grown plant.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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