I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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