Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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