there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
In America we eat man semen.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize