I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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