he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize