Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize