I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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