Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize