Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
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The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
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I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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