So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
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Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
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No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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