So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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