Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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