Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize