I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
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Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
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Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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