i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We're too hungover to prance.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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